10 Things I Used to Dislike But Now Like:

1. Drinking water. I guess when you're a kid you're all about milk and Kool-Aid and stuff (not that my mom let me drink Kool-Aid as a kid), and I thought water was gross. Nowadays, I can't get enough of the stuff.

2. Taking showers (versus baths). You can't splash as well, but it makes rinsing your hair easier.

3. Brushing my teeth. I used to be a terrible brusher, but I think I was scared straight when I had two cavities once. Ever since then, I get nothing but rave reviews from the dentist, and take great pride in my oral hygiene.

4. Tomatoes, onions, mushrooms, sharp cheddar, mustard, pepper, oatmeal cookies, yellow squash, grape nuts, fish, sprouts, Altoids, and dark chocolate.

5. Attending classical music concerts.

6. The fact that I'm half-Japanese.

7. Cleaning my room.

8. Nonfiction.

9. Exercising.

10. Sleeping.

My Birthday Wishlist

As you all know, my birthday is rapidly approaching. I don't want you all to stress out about finding me the perfect gift, so in order to make it easy for you, I'll post some great gift ideas in varying price ranges, although in no particular order.

*Canon PowerShot 8.0 MP digital ELPH camera. I don't really expect this at all, but the real fact of the matter is that I don't expect to get ANYTHING on my list, so I can dream, right?? I somewhat hate my current digital camera, and I've heard nothing but positive reviews from those who have Canons.

*Heroes, particularly season 1 (but secondarily season 2)

*a bike lock

*gift cards are always fun

*the Black Hole rockstop

*mechanical pencils

*a Korg tuner

*your favorite CD

Home again, home again . . . jiggity jig.

Well, Texas is as Texan as ever, and I'm glad to be back in the Lone Star State. That said, I should also say that I do, in fact, miss those wonderful people with whom I spent those six weeks in Vermont, albeit some more than others. There were some really neat kids there, and I hope to cross paths again someday . . .

Nevertheless, the reigning emotion is definitely a happy one. I got to see the Pre-Hub for a little while right when I got in, which was nice. I am now sure, though, that it's going to be rough for these next four months or so when we won't be able to see very much of one another. It'll all work out, though.

Auntie, Uncle, and Cousin blew in from Boulder last night and left this afternoon. They met The Boy whilst he was visiting the Denver area a few weeks ago, and (of course) they reported positively on the meeting. They said they were impressed he was so composed and such a good sport about it all. I got a good one, that's for sure. :-)

I cannot believe school starts next week. I have hardly even thought of it. In fact, I somewhat forgot that I even WENT to school--I guess it's just been the last thing on my mind what with wedding stuff and then Vermont-ness. Strange, really.

Yikes.

If I thought I was anxious to be home before, I am at least twenty times more anxious now. Recent events have left me totally disenchanted with the human race, for reasons which I don't really feel good about publishing on my so widely read blog. The main point is that I feel like there have been violations of basic human decency; this, added to the already rampant gossip and backbiting that is going on, leaves me completely exhausted and dreaming of a place where people can at least pretend to get along.

It's been a while since I've been the recipient of such anger (for a few moments, I thought I'd NEVER been, but I quickly remembered distinctly another such instance), and I just don't do well with being yelled at. I'm a lover, not a fighter, and in my mind, everyone should just be able to get along, at least enough to have a positive working relationship.

The negativity of this environment has proven very toxic, and unfortunately it's also completely contagious. The moment one person starts finding faults and pointing them out, everyone else will find other things that should be different, people who should be fired, people who should be forbidden to talk, etc. Soon, everyone around is criticizing everyone else, but no one is saying anything to anyone's face. The result is an environment where people don't trust one another, and where very little growth will take place.

I've been largely unsuccessful myself in maintaining innocence as far as all this goes. I complain along with everyone else, because--at least for a time--it makes me feel a little better about the situation. Interestingly enough, the universal bitching at least lends a certain sense of unity; after all, misery loves company. However, the truth is that no amount of negativity is ever productive. There is certainly something to be said for candid (but careful) honesty, and for constructive criticism, but one never needs to resort to being unkind, being curt, or disobeying the common laws of human decency.

That said, I would just like to say that Tuesday cannot possibly come soon enough. I'm ready to be in a positive environment again.

Yargh . . .

It's almost over, I keep telling myself. It's almost over.

A week from tomorrow, I'll be on my way back to Texas, and I could not be happier about that. I have enjoyed my time here. I've been able to play great music and been able to meet some really cool people. There are certainly problems with this particular festival which I could discuss with you ad nauseum, but all in all I guess I'm glad I came. I've been fighting a somewhat toxic environment, but I'm learning a lot about how to work with others and how to be a better person, if not about how to play chamber music better.

As the end approaches, I am looking forward to the things that are happening next year. School starts a week after I get back, and I haven't thought at all about what's going on with that. There are still wedding things that need to be taken care of pretty quickly, which will be fun . . . but perhaps less fun with the stress of a semester wearing down on me, which is why I'd like to get as much taken care of early on as possible. The tricky thing will be that The Boy is now living in a different city than I, and certain things will be made considerably more difficult because of that. I have a feeling that the next few months while we're engaged and only able to see one another on the weekends will be trying times, but also that it will help us to better appreciate being together come January.

I was going to type a bunch of mushy stuff right here, but I don't want to be responsible for anyone's computer being ruined due to vomit. Suffice it to say, I will be glad to see The Boy again when I get back.

Plus the kitty and doggy. I had a dream the other night that when I got back, the kitty got really excited and jumped up on my shoulder (which, for the record, she has been known to do). I bet she's all growed up these days.

Thankfully, the MMF Spirit Committee has designed Spirit Week this week to break up the monotony during the last week here. Today is Mismatch day, so I'm sporting a pink and silver tank layered over a snakeskin blouse and a blue striped button-down, a periwinkle skirt and my grey yoga pants. This is the most excellent outfit I have ever worn in my life. I'm glad there will be something to make this week more tolerable, because I have a feeling it is going to take a long time to get to next Tuesday.

. . . and closer . . .

Well, I've been feeling so blessed lately, I feel like I should show my gratitude for all the good things in my life, at least in some small measure.

I'm grateful to be here in beautiful Manchester, to have the experience to make new friends and play great music, to learn how to work with different personalities and, as always, to learn more about myself in the process of all of this. This is not to say at all that I'm not THRILLED that my time here is almost done, that in a week and a half I'll be heading back home, but I am grateful for the opportunity to be here.

I'm grateful for my wonderful family, for the support that they give to me. I have the best parents in the world, and the best big brother and sister-in-law. I miss them, but I'm so glad to know that they love and support me.

I'm grateful for my fantastic fiance, and for our future together. It's been hard to be away from him for so long so quickly after having become engaged (I left a week after he proposed), but if nothing else it has underscored the fact that I don't want to be apart from him any longer than I have to. It's been neat to hear him talk about all the developments in his life in these past few weeks, but I wish I could be there with him through it all. I'm really proud of him for taking on the "real world" and I'm so excited to be a grown-up with him. :-)

I'm grateful for the blessing of opportunity, and for the prospect of being gainfully employed with a rather ideal job next year: one that still allows for gigging, but that also provides a regular paycheck as well as medical benefits. This is amazing.

I'm grateful for the rewards that have come from planning ahead. Things are falling into place very well right now, and I can only attribute it to a loving God who is blessing me for taking a step into the dark and putting trust in Him. I could hardly call it coincidence that so much is just being placed in front of me, but I know it's true that "His eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches me."

Getting closer . . .

Hello, and happy August 2nd!

It's a good day. I'm glad that it's August, because now I'm in the same month that I will return home, which makes the time left here in Vermont much more manageable. Just over two weeks, and I'll be on my way back to Texas, where the world makes more sense.

Additionally, the fact that it's August 2nd means that five months from today, I will be married to the man of my dreams! We were able to have a really nice, long talk yesterday, and as we chronicled our entire story from the first time we really talked until this point, I became more and more grateful for The Boy. We have already built so many wonderful memories, and I can't wait to get home so we can build some more.

These days, I feel like I'm being blessed more than I deserve. The opportunities that are falling into my lap are more than I could ever hope for, and I can hardly believe how everything seems to be falling into place. Now that I think of it, I wonder if maybe by writing about how well everything seems to be working out I will jinx it all. Of course, I'm so thankful that I made the decision to move back to Texas, because none of this would have been the case if I hadn't somewhat blindly taken the audition and come back. It was the best semi-whim I ever had.

So, I'll be back home soon enough, and in the arms of the one I love. Life looks so much better from this side of the hump than it did from the other side, when I wrote my last post. Hooray for the passage of time!