On Sucking at Life

In the beginning of a new year (and a new semester starting tomorrow), I suppose it's a natural thing to think of ways to improve one's existence. How can I be more efficient? more studious? more productive? more responsible? How am I going to be a better person than I was last semester?


This, for me, is a weighty question. There are a hundred million ways I could be a better person, I just don't feel like I can do them all at once. I'm overwhelmed by the discrepancy between the woman I am and the woman I would like to be.

It's a blessing and a curse that I can acknowledge the many ways in which I could improve. After all, it means that in due time, I may master these tasks and be able to move onto whatever new crop of shortcomings comes up. At the same time, the fact that I can't automatically just be better at these things adds frustration--the fact that I am aware of so many shortcomings but can only concentrate on a few at a time means that those that have been recognized but remain unaddressed just exist to mock me. ("Yes, I can see you; I know you're there. I'll deal with you later.")

So how do you prioritize?

I guess, in the end, the goal is just to have a balanced, productive life--much harder than it sounds. Right now I know I'm all out of whack, but I suppose that once I find the right proportions of the different aspects of my life, I will know how to adjust things on a day-to-day basis as priorities shift. I heard a wise man cited as saying that there is no such thing as a balanced life: that at any given moment, life is out of balance. The task, then, is to assure that over an extended period of time, things are not being omitted or overemphasized. I think that makes a good deal of sense.

Maybe it's not such an overwhelming task, then. It'll just take some experimentation to find out the perfect recipe.