The Queen of the Awkward Mosquito Bite

Yes, friends, that is me. Mosquitoes eat me as though they were on the Atkins diet and I were a piece of white bread. The thing is, they don't just bite me in normal places, say, my arms or legs. They're brutal. The following are places that you should never try to get bitten by a mosquito:

*in between your toes
*on your Achilles tendon
*at the exact spot on the inside of your knee where your cello touches you
*anyplace covered by a bathing suit (trust me, i've got a couple of those right now)
*anywhere on your face
*on the spot on your back that you can't reach

Yeah . . . good times.

In Other News, I got a job! Glamorous. So glamorous, in fact, that people dress up like me for Halloween!



Yes, I'm a maid. Not a French Maid, though, so I don't think I get to wear the sassy black and white digs. The company is called "Maid in America," so maybe I'll look more like this:



















In any case, I think being a maid ramps my sex appeal by at least 50%. Please feel free to fall in love with me now.