You know how people are sending mass invites to wedding groups on facebook these days? Groups like, "Ferdinand and KoKo need your address!!!!!" or "JimBo and Cruella are getting married and want you there!!!"
Am I the only one who gets these and wonders every time if it's a mistake? Maybe it's a testament to my low self-esteem, but every time I get one of those group invites, I think to myself, "Oh, they probably clicked my name by accident." I think, "We were never really that close," or "I haven't talked to her in so long," or "Why would he want me there?" I almost always assume that it was an error in clicking--that they meant to click on some OTHER Rachel in their list, and just happened to click my name instead. Sigh.
So then it puts you in an awkward position. You really WANT the mass facebook invite to be something more, to be a symbol of the fact that they want you to be there on their special day, and you wish more than anything else that it's a genuine, heartfelt invitation intended just for you . . .
but what if it's not? What if you reply, as requested, with your address, and the sender of the invitation realizes that you weren't on The List, and they messed up. Now they know that you think you're better friends than they think you are! And there's no way to recover from something like that. On the other hand, what if they DID intend it for you personally, and you DON'T reply? Then THEY feel sad, like it's not an important invitation to you, and you've just disregarded their desire to include you in their special day. It's a lose-lose situation.
I guess this is rooted in my personal paranoia that I always like people more than they like me--a terror that has been with me ever since I was very young.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
The Truth About Cats and Dogs
Our beagle, Zoë, is coming up on ten years (70 in dog years).
She's a sweet dog (as you can see), but she has gotten quite used to ruling the roost around here. It must have come as quite a shock when we introduced a new family member to her a little more than a week ago. Enter Yuki (Japanese for "snow"), a siamese-tabby mix of about 9 weeks now:
She's pretty adorable, but has thrown off Zoë's groove. Initially, our 25-lb. beagle was absolutely TERRIFIED of the tiny house kitten. She wouldn't go near the little furball. After that wore off, no one knew what to think. Being a beagle, Zoë was immediately overcome with an intense desire to sniff the kitten, which in turn made the kitten nervous, which in turn led to her running away, and a chase inevitably ensued.
Really, though, the problem was simply that neither party knew what to think of the other. They were afraid of each other because they didn't understand one another. It was a difference of culture: the two didn't have any commonalities in language (neither uttered or acted), in appearance, in tendencies, or in anything else that might help them to make sense of one another.
Neither kitty nor doggy trusted the other. They would approach one another in curiosity, but it would always happen that one or the other would get too nervous and lunge at the other, resulting in some altercation.
Isn't this just the same as the human predicament? We are afraid of what we don't understand. When it tries to approach us, we bare our teeth or draw our claws just in case it so happens that it's out to get us. Trust is difficult; it's much easier to mistrust and exercise the "fight or flight" instinct.
Sometimes, though, all it takes is for the two parties in question to exist in one another's presence for a little while . . .
They're still not best friends, but at least there's hope.
She's a sweet dog (as you can see), but she has gotten quite used to ruling the roost around here. It must have come as quite a shock when we introduced a new family member to her a little more than a week ago. Enter Yuki (Japanese for "snow"), a siamese-tabby mix of about 9 weeks now:
She's pretty adorable, but has thrown off Zoë's groove. Initially, our 25-lb. beagle was absolutely TERRIFIED of the tiny house kitten. She wouldn't go near the little furball. After that wore off, no one knew what to think. Being a beagle, Zoë was immediately overcome with an intense desire to sniff the kitten, which in turn made the kitten nervous, which in turn led to her running away, and a chase inevitably ensued.
Really, though, the problem was simply that neither party knew what to think of the other. They were afraid of each other because they didn't understand one another. It was a difference of culture: the two didn't have any commonalities in language (neither uttered or acted), in appearance, in tendencies, or in anything else that might help them to make sense of one another.
Neither kitty nor doggy trusted the other. They would approach one another in curiosity, but it would always happen that one or the other would get too nervous and lunge at the other, resulting in some altercation.
Isn't this just the same as the human predicament? We are afraid of what we don't understand. When it tries to approach us, we bare our teeth or draw our claws just in case it so happens that it's out to get us. Trust is difficult; it's much easier to mistrust and exercise the "fight or flight" instinct.
Sometimes, though, all it takes is for the two parties in question to exist in one another's presence for a little while . . .
They're still not best friends, but at least there's hope.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
I Like Lists.
(Non-inclusive, and in no particular order.)
Things I'm Not Good At And Wish I Could Do Better:
*reading music
*playing the cello
*opening things (doors, containers,packages)
*speaking Spanish
*making friends
*acting upon my positive impulses
*running
*using curling iron
*flipping things (like omelets and pancakes)
*driving
*taking photos
*arm-pit farting
Things I'm Not Good At And Don't Care to Improve Upon:
*video games
*most sports
*painting nails
*French-braiding
*lying
*walking in a straight line
Things I'm Not Good At And Wish I Could Do Better:
*reading music
*playing the cello
*opening things (doors, containers,packages)
*speaking Spanish
*making friends
*acting upon my positive impulses
*running
*using curling iron
*flipping things (like omelets and pancakes)
*driving
*taking photos
*arm-pit farting
Things I'm Not Good At And Don't Care to Improve Upon:
*video games
*most sports
*painting nails
*French-braiding
*lying
*walking in a straight line
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