The Menu from the Original Velvet Twinkie! For my brother's birthday last July, my roommates and I set up a restaurant in our backyard. He and his then-girlfriend (now wife) came to the Velvet Twinkie for a romantic dinner for two. This was the menu:
Entrees (all entrees come with a house salad)
Shish kebabs--fresh chicken with assorted fruits and vegetables grilled in an Asian glaze and served on a skewer with wild rice
Gut Casserole--the innards of various animals in a mint-pickle sauce, topped with crispy pan-fried spider legs and served with pickled pigs' feet
Air soup--our house specialty: a light soup served room-temperature with pollen garnish
Desserts
Death by Chocolate--a rich piece of chocolate cake with chocolate frosting dusted with cocoa powder
Just Regular Death--we kill you with a sharp chef's knife
Monday, May 28, 2007
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
An Acrostic Poem
My brother wrote this for me on my last birthday:
Twenty-two
Old
Lovely
Intelligent
Energetic
Terrific
Pumpernickel
Angelic
Positive
Erreplacable
Rachel
I'm pretty sure he meant to misspell "irreplaceable," but I'm not sure that he meant to misspell "toilet." Pretty funny stuff
Twenty-two
Old
Lovely
Intelligent
Energetic
Terrific
Pumpernickel
Angelic
Positive
Erreplacable
Rachel
I'm pretty sure he meant to misspell "irreplaceable," but I'm not sure that he meant to misspell "toilet." Pretty funny stuff
Sunday, May 13, 2007
I Think, Therefore, I Am What I Think
While cleaning and packing, I came across this scribbled in one of my notebooks. I thought it was interesting, and thought I'd transcribe it for your reading pleasure. Not that anyone actually reads this, but somehow I still feel better knowing that someone COULD possibly read it, someday, somewhere.
On Positive Thinking:
"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right."
What do we really think about leading ourselves to success by our thoughts? I see in my mind's eye an excessively "sincere" guidance counselor, telling me to think more positively. I am rolling my eyes. Maybe I can walk around saying, "I can do anything I put my mind to!", but that doesn't necessarily make it true.
But what if it does? What if our thoughts have the ability to change at the very core how we actually perform? How others treat us? How the Universe treats us?
I believe in agency--that I have freedom of choice. I believe in accountability--that I will be held responsible for my choices. I believe--as most of the world believes--that when a person makes a choice or takes a certain action (or inaction), certain reactions will follow. In very simple terms, if a woman forgets her umbrella on a rainy day, the natural consequence of that act is that she will get wet. If a man leaves a loaf of bread in the oven for too long, the natural consequence of that action is that the bread will burn. Do I believe that our thoughts have the same kinds of consequences that foillow them?
There are numerous exhortations in the LDS canon to keep our thoughts clean. Indeed, I'm sure everyone of my faith would agree that there are consequences for thinking impure or immoral thoughts. I am, however, doubtful that we fully comprehend how our agency and accountability can be used in our "mere," everyday thoughts.
I speak mostly of the thoughts we think about our own selves. It's much easier for us to wrap our minds around the idea of thinking charitably toward others. We understand it's not nice to think about a person, "She's really dumb," or "He is so ugly," but how do we react when these thoughts enter our own minds, and about our own selves?
In Louise Hay's book You Can Heal Your Life, she suggests using positive affirmations ("I love and approve of myself") to replace thoughts and feelings of negativity in our lives. At first, I thought that was a ridiculous idea, and it could make no possible difference. It didn't take me too long to realize, though, that I was actually inundating myself with negative self-talk.
As a beautiful girl passes me, I think, "I'll never be as pretty as she is." As my teacher asks a question, I think, "I just don't get it. I must be so dumb." As my eyes fall upon an attractive man, I think, "He'd never go for someone like me." I'm always "too _______" or "not ________ enough."
I constantly berate myself for not being good enough in one way or another. I never congratulate myself for having done something--anything--well. Is that realistic? Is it healthy? Helpful?
Once I became aware of how many negative thoughts I was sending myself, I was shocked. If anyone else were to talk to me like that, I would never stop crying. I would hate myself and hate the person speaking to me. Or perhaps I would grow hardened. At any rate, this voice is internalized, constantly telling me everything that is wrong about me.
But what's so bad about that? At least I'm not victimizing others with my negativity. After all, I'm much nicer to everyone else than to myself. Still, can I act positively while thinking so negatively? I've been noticing all the smiling faces in front of mournful eyes. Perhaps this is the result of inner negativity.
I believe that thoughts DO make a difference. After all, aren't thoughts the beginning of everything we do in the first place? We can hardly do anything at all without first thinking about it. If I am constantly telling myself that I am stupid or ugly or fat or unkind or selfish, then what can I do but act in a way that supports those thoughts? If, however, I decide that I am beautiful, healthy, loving, kind, sincere, intelligent, and anything else I would like to be, then I should likewise be able to find evidence to support that belief. The more frequently I find positive evidence, the more I become what I wish to be.
Maybe it's time for an experiment. If I determine who I really am at the very core of my soul, then can I shed all the impediments I have placed upon myself? I always feel when I fall short that that is not truly characteristic of me, even when it happens quite often. That is because I really know that I am better than I sometimes act. All I need to do is allow my daily, hourly, every-moment thoughts to support my inner belief and understanding of who I am. Let's see what happens.
On Positive Thinking:
"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right."
What do we really think about leading ourselves to success by our thoughts? I see in my mind's eye an excessively "sincere" guidance counselor, telling me to think more positively. I am rolling my eyes. Maybe I can walk around saying, "I can do anything I put my mind to!", but that doesn't necessarily make it true.
But what if it does? What if our thoughts have the ability to change at the very core how we actually perform? How others treat us? How the Universe treats us?
I believe in agency--that I have freedom of choice. I believe in accountability--that I will be held responsible for my choices. I believe--as most of the world believes--that when a person makes a choice or takes a certain action (or inaction), certain reactions will follow. In very simple terms, if a woman forgets her umbrella on a rainy day, the natural consequence of that act is that she will get wet. If a man leaves a loaf of bread in the oven for too long, the natural consequence of that action is that the bread will burn. Do I believe that our thoughts have the same kinds of consequences that foillow them?
There are numerous exhortations in the LDS canon to keep our thoughts clean. Indeed, I'm sure everyone of my faith would agree that there are consequences for thinking impure or immoral thoughts. I am, however, doubtful that we fully comprehend how our agency and accountability can be used in our "mere," everyday thoughts.
I speak mostly of the thoughts we think about our own selves. It's much easier for us to wrap our minds around the idea of thinking charitably toward others. We understand it's not nice to think about a person, "She's really dumb," or "He is so ugly," but how do we react when these thoughts enter our own minds, and about our own selves?
In Louise Hay's book You Can Heal Your Life, she suggests using positive affirmations ("I love and approve of myself") to replace thoughts and feelings of negativity in our lives. At first, I thought that was a ridiculous idea, and it could make no possible difference. It didn't take me too long to realize, though, that I was actually inundating myself with negative self-talk.
As a beautiful girl passes me, I think, "I'll never be as pretty as she is." As my teacher asks a question, I think, "I just don't get it. I must be so dumb." As my eyes fall upon an attractive man, I think, "He'd never go for someone like me." I'm always "too _______" or "not ________ enough."
I constantly berate myself for not being good enough in one way or another. I never congratulate myself for having done something--anything--well. Is that realistic? Is it healthy? Helpful?
Once I became aware of how many negative thoughts I was sending myself, I was shocked. If anyone else were to talk to me like that, I would never stop crying. I would hate myself and hate the person speaking to me. Or perhaps I would grow hardened. At any rate, this voice is internalized, constantly telling me everything that is wrong about me.
But what's so bad about that? At least I'm not victimizing others with my negativity. After all, I'm much nicer to everyone else than to myself. Still, can I act positively while thinking so negatively? I've been noticing all the smiling faces in front of mournful eyes. Perhaps this is the result of inner negativity.
I believe that thoughts DO make a difference. After all, aren't thoughts the beginning of everything we do in the first place? We can hardly do anything at all without first thinking about it. If I am constantly telling myself that I am stupid or ugly or fat or unkind or selfish, then what can I do but act in a way that supports those thoughts? If, however, I decide that I am beautiful, healthy, loving, kind, sincere, intelligent, and anything else I would like to be, then I should likewise be able to find evidence to support that belief. The more frequently I find positive evidence, the more I become what I wish to be.
Maybe it's time for an experiment. If I determine who I really am at the very core of my soul, then can I shed all the impediments I have placed upon myself? I always feel when I fall short that that is not truly characteristic of me, even when it happens quite often. That is because I really know that I am better than I sometimes act. All I need to do is allow my daily, hourly, every-moment thoughts to support my inner belief and understanding of who I am. Let's see what happens.
Saturday, May 5, 2007
The Winter That Wouldn't Die.
I'm really cold. I'm wearing the Sea Rose Heather from tour, and I'm still cold. It's MAY, I shouldn't have to be layering still. I should be laying poolside or tossing a frisbee in shorts and a t-shirt or drinking slurpees. It'll be nice to go outside not wondering whether I will need short sleeves or a jacket. I hate Utah.
Will I miss it here? Probably. Not so much the place, but the people here. As we were watching the Chamber Tour DVD last night, I started to get really sad, thinking of myself watching the DVD in Texas in a year or so. Alone, thinking, "Oh! I miss so-and-so!" with each person who enters a shot. It made me really sad.
Even so, I'm definitely ready for the change of pace. The populace here is most interesting in its homogeneity--I found out at graduation that 87% of last year's graduating class (from the College of Fine Arts and Communications) was Caucasian. Ninety-some percent are LDS. It's an interesting thing. I don't really WANT to be mixed in too thoroughly with ANY population. I would rather maintain my own identity than be numbered in a crowd. Interesting that while being LDS here makes me "the rule," back home, I would be the "exception." Maybe that's why I'm so ready to leave. I want to be special and different again.
Trying to find work is always a pain. Especially when I'm looking for work 1200 miles away from my current location. I guess it's all part of moving on.
On an unrelated topic, I have determined that I am, as far as my guy friends are concerned, "one of the guys." I don't know how I feel about that. I'm a bit miffed that they don't seem to think of me as a woman at all. After all, I am very clearly a woman. But I fall in the "just friends" category, meaning that I'm just not attractive enough (or whatever enough) for them to ever consider pursuing a relationship with me. Which, I suppose, is just fine. I am someone (like just about anybody else, really) who needs friendship, not limited to same-sex friends or potential romances. I like the feeling of being a girl amongst boys--but I suppose that's the very problem. When I am with these guy friends, I feel like a BOY amongst boys. Or at least, that's how I feel they see me. "Oh, it's just Rachel," they say. I guess I feel less sad that they're not overcome with desire when I enter the room than the fact that they're ignoring a very base part of my identity. Dammit, I'm a woman! Hear me roar and all that nonsense.
I admit that I'm not the most ribbon-and-lace kind of girl that ever existed, but I'm still a girl. I've got plenty enough estrogen coursing through my system, and plenty enough woman-curves for that to be completely apparent.
Maybe it's a sort of cycle. I've got quite a good little bouquet of pretty close guy-friends, and I know that none of them are interested in me romantically (for one reason or another). So, I don't feel a particular need to employ my feminine wiles in their presence--it would be a waste of energy. Thus, they will continue to see me as one of the guys--only better! I'm not a threat.
I think I'm worrying too much about this. I only really have to worry about being a woman to one man. And he'll definitely see me as a woman (in more ways than one?).
Will I miss it here? Probably. Not so much the place, but the people here. As we were watching the Chamber Tour DVD last night, I started to get really sad, thinking of myself watching the DVD in Texas in a year or so. Alone, thinking, "Oh! I miss so-and-so!" with each person who enters a shot. It made me really sad.
Even so, I'm definitely ready for the change of pace. The populace here is most interesting in its homogeneity--I found out at graduation that 87% of last year's graduating class (from the College of Fine Arts and Communications) was Caucasian. Ninety-some percent are LDS. It's an interesting thing. I don't really WANT to be mixed in too thoroughly with ANY population. I would rather maintain my own identity than be numbered in a crowd. Interesting that while being LDS here makes me "the rule," back home, I would be the "exception." Maybe that's why I'm so ready to leave. I want to be special and different again.
Trying to find work is always a pain. Especially when I'm looking for work 1200 miles away from my current location. I guess it's all part of moving on.
On an unrelated topic, I have determined that I am, as far as my guy friends are concerned, "one of the guys." I don't know how I feel about that. I'm a bit miffed that they don't seem to think of me as a woman at all. After all, I am very clearly a woman. But I fall in the "just friends" category, meaning that I'm just not attractive enough (or whatever enough) for them to ever consider pursuing a relationship with me. Which, I suppose, is just fine. I am someone (like just about anybody else, really) who needs friendship, not limited to same-sex friends or potential romances. I like the feeling of being a girl amongst boys--but I suppose that's the very problem. When I am with these guy friends, I feel like a BOY amongst boys. Or at least, that's how I feel they see me. "Oh, it's just Rachel," they say. I guess I feel less sad that they're not overcome with desire when I enter the room than the fact that they're ignoring a very base part of my identity. Dammit, I'm a woman! Hear me roar and all that nonsense.
I admit that I'm not the most ribbon-and-lace kind of girl that ever existed, but I'm still a girl. I've got plenty enough estrogen coursing through my system, and plenty enough woman-curves for that to be completely apparent.
Maybe it's a sort of cycle. I've got quite a good little bouquet of pretty close guy-friends, and I know that none of them are interested in me romantically (for one reason or another). So, I don't feel a particular need to employ my feminine wiles in their presence--it would be a waste of energy. Thus, they will continue to see me as one of the guys--only better! I'm not a threat.
I think I'm worrying too much about this. I only really have to worry about being a woman to one man. And he'll definitely see me as a woman (in more ways than one?).
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